Tweaking the Pandemic

My adult middle son leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. “I’m not worried about getting it.” He raised his chin. “I’m immune.” He shrugged, but his cheeks were hollow and sharp, the way they get after he’s been on a binge. I hesitated. He had to be tweaking—the part when the methamphetamine […]

Blows to the Head

Blows to the Head

On Monday night, the bedside digital clock reads eleven-thirty-nine PM. My thirty-eight-year-old middle son flings open the door and crashes into our bedroom. Not that I’m asleep or anything—I’ve already awoken to suspicious thumps coming from the kitchen. My stomach clenches, my insides twist themselves into an infinity knot. And I start thinking about love. […]

Gray Areas

Gray Areas

I’m told that in twelve-step-style recovery meetings, they discourage sharing “war stories,” or telling about specific incidents of being under the influence. By not talking about using, or the surrounding drama, various triggers are avoided, the group can better focus on recovery—and hang onto those 30-day chips. The No War Stories rule also gently helps […]

Strong Shoulders

That night, my son’s text arrived long after I was asleep, so I didn’t hear the chime. The next morning, I read his profanity-laced description of the work party he’d attended. Worst work party ever, it read. f*** (the restaurant). The needle on my guilt-o-meter shot up so fast it could have reached escape velocity. […]