I pick up my adult son’s sunglasses—cradle them, really. Yesterday he showed them off to me—his grin so wide you’d think he’d won the lottery. These flimsy shades were from the dollar store, he said, but I like them. And he did. But today, he’d say those glasses are made out of plastic so cheap […]
Category Archives: Waiting for Morning
But Is It Love?
On St. Valentine’s Day, my grown son offered to wash my car, even though legendary Oregon rain was in the forecast. I was thrilled by his gift—long-time meth use and ongoing mental health issues keep him unemployed. Besides, any mom will tell you that a kind gesture from your kid is worth its weight in […]
Yelling Around
Have you ever lost it with your kid? I sure have. The fireplace crackled as a winter’s sun dipped low behind fences and fir trees. Dinner done, I was ready to pull on comfy pants and relax with a mug of hot tea. But before my first sip, a booming voice erupted. I froze, my […]
Here Come Da Judges
I stood at the book signing event, discussing with a reader my first published book called Lost Boys and the Moms who Love Them. Two of my three sons were abusing substances. A couple of friends had sons who also struggled, so we collaborated. My feet ached as I explained how the three of us […]
Blind Trust
A few days before Thanksgiving, it was already dark at four-thirty—the time of year when I jump into jammies early and pray again for my son’s miracle: Let him find recovery. Then the text came: Can I get a ride home before you go to bed? I heaved a sigh but pulled on my boots […]
The Power of Words
My husband and I ought to have permanently melted ears by now. Over the past years, our three grown sons with addiction have cursed us, called us awful names and vowed that they hate us. The old schoolyard taunt declares, “words can never hurt me.” Moms and dads of those with addiction know that’s so […]
Getting It Right
The treatment center’s director met me in the lobby. Tall, blonde and willowy, she listened as I outlined my young adult son’s challenges. I told her how at just ten or eleven he’d started sneaking out at night to drink alcohol. Yes, ever since then, he’d abused methamphetamine. The director nodded sympathetically. “He’s over eighteen […]
When Plans Go Wrong, Make S’Mores
Two tents sat in my backyard like forgotten pyramids. Next to them, sleeping bags, brand-new camp dishes, even a stack of firewood lay piled, ready and waiting. A paper bag contained stuff for making s’mores. Everything prepared for the “greatest camping trip ever.” All of it a mirage. We who have loved ones with addiction […]
Boys to Men
I’d just made my thirty-eight-year-old son a dental appointment to examine his freshly broken tooth. But instead of thanking me, he frowned the same way he’d done in childhood if I “helped” without his permission. Now, as then, he huffed, “I’m a big boy. I should call them myself.” I tried not to look hurt. […]
Neighborly Love
After George Floyd died, I had the urge to dash across the street and hug my neighbor Phyllis long and hard. She’s Black, tall, regal-looking and we’re both Christ-followers. My arms longed to embrace one of only a handful of persons of color in my lily-white neighborhood. I wanted to tell Phyllis that I stood […]
