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On a bright summer morning, I sip my coffee, and I’m glad to be alive. The day before, I enjoyed my son with the thrill of seeing him sober. He showed me an animated short film we both loved, we talked about our veggie garden. And he laughed, a real honest-to-goodness chortle that sounded like […]
“How can I support you?” I ask my forty-one-year-old son. He’s experiencing excruciating day twelve of meth withdrawal. He’s just said the words I’ve long to hear: He’s determined to do life differently. He gently rocks side-to-side, the way he does when he’s coming off a binge. “I guess just be here for me.” Gray […]
As a teen, I often babysat for a family that had the strangest smelling refrigerator. After I put the kid to bed, I did what most teens do: I raided the kitchen. Their fridge was clean enough, but they kept foods that a white Protestant girl like me had never seen. I thought their fridge […]
I was raised to honor truth. In fact, my adoptive father used to say, ” If you break my rules, you’ll be punished. If you lie, you get double.” Dad’s chilling words float back to me as my son talks about how someone in his life has done him wrong. He’s been betrayed. Son’s cheeks […]
Sometimes, we can recharge relationships with a simple boundary. My grown live-in son (aka Middle) called me on his friend’s cell. “My phone fell out of my pocket. It broke.” Mentally, I added again? and groaned inwardly. You mean the phone that we provide? The one that helps us stay connected? The phone I replaced […]
Recently, I asked Youngest son if I could take him out to lunch. We’d talk about his options and future without any interjected comments from other family members. Just the two of us. My treat. He said, “Not only no, hell no.” I was shocked and frustrated that my invitation was met with defensiveness. Mom […]
Sometimes you have to dig deep to find kindness. Sometimes the trauma, the crises and nonstop drama combine, and suddenly you don’t feel anything. Yes, you know your child with addiction is suffering and hates his life. She knows full well how much she hurts you. The lies and name calling, the threats and manipulations, […]
The day after Christmas, Middle Son raised his arms. “I did it!” I smiled so hard I thought my face might break. He’d done it, indeed—stayed sober for Christmas. All three of my grown sons with SUD had given me the best gift—if not total sobriety, then at least no ugly drama. Gratitude flooded over […]
That November morning, my thirtysomething live-in son leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, a distant look in his intense blue eyes. For the thousandth time, I was pleading with him. “I only want you to be healthy and happy. What’s going to happen to you when Dad and I are gone?” He shrugged and […]
My grown son is in the kitchen fixing himself a meal. Then a bomb goes off somewhere in his mind. He accuses me of hovering over him. I’d only wanted to grab a headache remedy, but the scene escalates. No explanation seems to matter as he calls me names. My husband comes to my aid—he’s […]
Linda has always been a daydreamer, artist and storyteller. In addition to doting on grandbabies, collecting too many cats, gardening and walking on the beach, she loves to write and to help writers develop their skills. [READ MORE…]
