How to Get Your Cranky Back

Some days you want to give up.

Some days you want to give up.

Miss Crankypants is not usually anything if not cheerfully sarcastic. Cranky Cat is the most joyful sourpuss on the planet. So how on earth has the one and only Miss Cranky landed in the doldrums of depression?

She really has no clue.

UNLESS . . .

Could it be this is all related to Mr. Crankypants’ recent love of hospital rooms that charge 5000 bucks a night? Or his oh-so-obvious bids for attention in the form of heart attacks, kidney problems and griping about terrible hospital food? Hmm. She thought so. There’s the mister, hogging the spotlight with his bad test results and giant horse-pills of potassium. Basking in his fifteen minutes of fame as he cruises around the hospital corridors in his stylish pin-striped bathrobe. All the while, long-suffering Miss CP has to hold everything together all by her lonesome.
Keeping Cranky Cat happy has fallen on her shoulders. He’s been known to fast if his wet food isn’t warmed to a perfect 62 degrees, and then turn right around and leave his gems on wisdom deposited on the bathroom floor. Miss Crankypants might feel sad after bleaching the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time, but full-blown depression? Unlikely.

Or maybe the root cause of the blues has something to do with Cranky Cat’s bid to replace Duck Dynasty with a book of his own. Turned down AGAIN just last week, CRANKYTUDE is so far batting a thousand goose eggs. Zero takers. NADA.

Miss CP is starting to wander dangerously close to the self-publishing insanity gripping most of the nation.
Now that Mr. Cranky has been sprung from the joint known as Riverbend, you’d think her depressed mood would begin to lift. But nooo. If anything, it’s more work taking care of him here at home than it was in the 5K a day hospital room. He’s demanding to be waited on hand and foot and wants to be served meals that are warmed to perfection. How is she supposed to get her CRANKYTUDE book out there if the mister wants another drink of water? Miss Cranky is SO on the edge. If you hear about a guy (or a tailless Siamese/Manx) who’s been locked in a closet with a urinal, please don’t turn in poor Miss CP. It could be the only way she ever visits the sane world again.

About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

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