Frosted Bellybuttons! It’s the Fashion Police

Cranky Cat is not amused

So apparently, you CAN overdo it on pink clothing. According to some of Miss Cranky’s posse, her outfit needs to be noteworthy yet dignified, a red carpet hit that doesn’t bring out the fashion police. She has chosen PINK as her special way of saying See? I am a STAR! And you thought pink was for baby girls!

One person even warned Miss CP not to end up looking like another local woman who fancies herself a comedienne. Miss I. Wannabe Funny has taken groaning to a whole new level, what with the year-round jingle bells and mind-numbing chatter about her two dumb weiner dogs.Why this local yokel even went around for a whole year wearing her S.L.U.G. Queen regalia. Yes, Miss Crankypants lives in a town with a Slug Queen.

Miss Cranky wouldn’t be caught dead wearing Slime Green or talking about weiner dogs. That’s how dignified she is. Besides, bismuth pink is such a dignified color! It cures stomach ailments all the time!

But apparently dear Miss Crank is not quite star material. Just last week, she traipsed down to the thrift store and bought every pink article of clothing she could find! She now sports pink Capri’s, pink shirts, a pink skirt and of course, pink pants. Miss CP even thought to get a very pink necklace, some fine sparkly pink shoes from the kids’ department and a wonderful pink hair doodad. No one will ever mistake Miss Crankypants for a slug!

And she’s not stopping there. To celebrate and desperately hope some publisher will like the idea of CRANKYTUDE! the book, she’s making up pink buttons with Cranky Cat’s crabby mug on them. Soon, they’ll be collectors’ items like “Impeach the President,” right? How can you go wrong with Cranky Cat’s baleful stare reminding you how Cranky he is?

So what do you think? Is Miss Crankypants carrying this pink thing too far? Or is it just a matter of time before Jimmy Fallon calls? Think about it while Miss CP runs off these annoying fashion cops.

About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

2 comments on “Frosted Bellybuttons! It’s the Fashion Police

  1. What fun. I laughed all through this, and I am so glad I clicked over from the link on The Humor Daily.

    To answer your question with another, are you adding pink underthings? It only seems appropriate.

    • Maryann, Miss Crankypants welcomes you to the very odd world of griping! She will indeed investigate pink understuff and will report back if something goes wrong. (And you know it will!) Keep Laughing and Come back soon! ~Miss CP aka Linda

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