Miss Crankypants is the worst lady-in-waiting on the planet. Waiting is what writers should do best: wait for the edits, wait for the agent, wait for the release date, wait for the umpteenth rejection. With all this waiting, Miss CP ought to be a pro!
But she isn’t. Not even close. Just ask her family.
She’s been known to bob and weave around slow-poke cars. She yells at the toaster to hurry up. She’s fed up with cats who can’t decide in or out. And she regularly growls about the wait time between a contracted book and its pub date.
A couple years ago, Miss CP begged, wallowed, toadied and cajoled her editor to release a novel just a smidge sooner than dead last on the release chart. The result? Let’s just say Miss Crankypants had better luck with the motorcycle cop who pulled her over for that bob and weave thing. Editor refused to budge and poor Miss CP had to wait. And wait. Still waiting.
Ever seen that poster that says, “Lord give me patience right now?” Miss Cranky ripped that sucker to shreds years ago. And she simply can’t abide smug authors who smile and say, “Yes, they fast tracked my book.”

What? An author who cuts in line? That should be a crime punishable by ten years in front of a screen door, accommodating the in or out cat.