Time for a new gripe. I’ve read some manuscripts recently that tried to throw in jokes and puns. Unfortunately, the jokes were awful and the puns lived up to groaner status. Why is humor so hard to write? In one novel, I could practically see the author laughing at the worst jokes ever, saying, “Self, you’re pretty funny, now aren’t you?”

This amounts to author intrusion, and intrusion is something we writers should definitely avoid. Like the Plague. But isn’t it difficult to know whether you’re a born humorist? Most of the bad humor writers I’ve read seem to have their own groupies who laugh along with them. To all these fans of poor jokers: Stop encouraging these folks! They’re funny, but not in a good way.

What can be done? Short of pillorying in the public square, all who think they’re funny, witty, entertaining or droll should enroll in clown school. In clown school they teach you genuinely rib-tickling, sidesplitting stuff, such as laughing at oneself, cramming into tiny cars and shaping balloons to look like weiner dogs. Plus, you get to pick an official clown name. Such as Miss Writerly Crankypants. Ha-ha, that’s soooo funny. See what I mean?