The Upended Rhinoceros

It was the middle of the night, when all through the house, kitties and their peeps were snoring mightily. Except for Cranky Cat, who had a hot date and was telling everyone he needed to go out. Me-NOW! Miss Crankypants, ever the dutiful slave, awoke to this insistent yowling and proceeded to . . . fall right out of bed.
She meant to roll out gracefully, sprint to the door and be back under the covers before anyone noticed. Instead, she hit the floor like a gutter ball. Who knew the bed was so high and the floor so hard?
Miss Cranky’s life flashed before her. Then, SPLAT.
Mr. Crankypants leapt up faster than a high-jumping flea and wanted to know what on earth Miss CP was doing on the floor. At three in the morning. And why did she look like an upended rhinoceros?

Nice to know your spouse is willing to leap for you, no matter how ridiculous you look.
And now we read that interrupted sleep (by cats, kids or snoring spouse) wreaks havoc upon us, turning us all into the friendly zombies next door. This must be why the Crankypants household staggers around all day, moaning and craving the neighbor’s brains.
It’s all Cranky Cat’s fault, although this kitty hasn’t a contrite bone in his tailless body. About the time Miss CP was crawling (literally) back into bed, Cranky Cat wanted back inside. He’d been stood up by his feline paramour and was willing to tell the entire world his sad story. For a few cat treats, of course.
Mr. and Ms. Crankypants know better than to pile treats at the feet of such a whiny baby. Does Cranky Cat think we just fell off the turnip truck?
No, but when you’re being serenaded by a LOUD and VERY CRANKY CAT at three in the morning, you do whatever will SHUT THAT CAT UP! Because, when you’re sleep deprived and falling out of bed, the floor comes up awfully fast. And she’s got the bruises and the leaping spouse to prove it.

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About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

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