So many readers beg Miss Crankypants to reveal where she gets her ideas. If you’ve been a writer for at least ten minutes, you know that writers of all stripes are constantly asked this very same question: Where DO you get your ideas?
In Miss CP’s case, you probably don’t really want to know. But for the sake of argument, let’s play the “Writer Ideas” game.
First off, Miss Cranky is certain that good writing ideas are just like mosquitoes. That is, they tend to buzz around when you’re just getting comfortable. Falling asleep brings out legions of these whining buzzers. They startle you awake and force you to haul out that notepad you keep at your bedside, so you can capture a great idea at 3 in the morning.
Of course, when you get up the next day, your notes appear to have been written in Chinese. Your great idea reads something like: A dwarf hides his elephant in a hat made of bananas. What were you thinking?
Later on, you scratch your head and stare blankly at the computer screen, hoping the Idea Mosquito will return.
When it finally does come back, you are carpooling to the soccer game and you have nothing with which to jot down the best idea since sliced bread. You hold your phone in one hand and try to drive with the other as you frantically commit the idea to bad thumb texting. (NOTE: In Oregon this is strictly illegal and Miss Crankypants is NOT responsible for those flashing red and blue lights in your rear view mirror!)
When you finally stagger in the door after kid number three gets finished with a) basketball practice, b) high school or c) his bar exams, you discover that your great idea for a novel sounds a lot like a) Harry Potter b) War and Peace c) The Bible.
So Miss Crankypants understands completely when you rise up against the Idea Mosquito with a fly swatter and bat at the air while your great idea goes whizzing past you, only to make a sharp one-eighty turn and sink its proboscis into your rear end. Now the durn Idea Mosquito wants to suck you dry! It won’t rest until it has feasted on your very soul and makes you itch for a week. Miss Cranky is sorry for your inconvenience, but that’s exactly why we writers can’t stop–we were bit by the Writing Bug and will be hounded by the Idea Mosquitoes as long as we live. Pass the Calamine Lotion!