Meat the Homophones

Miss Crankypants gets a kick out of homophones, those devilishly cute words that try to trick writers into using them inappropriately. They lurk inside every writer’s word processor, seeking revenge for some unnamed crime against good literature.
Miss CP gets a good laugh from reading that somebody waived at the neighbors, brakes bread, waists time and is their whenever there needed.
Entire volumes have been devoted to blockhead writers who never seam to know whose whose is who’s. Miss Crankypants thinks writers would snap to it and learn the correct version if you manacled the offenders and threatened them with the ZAPPILY.
Regular readers (and some irregular ones too) may recall that a ZAPPILY is a cattle prod for writers. It’s meant for those drunken ly words that stagger into our manuscripts, but also works for goosing low-opinion book reviews and/or writers’ egos, whichever needs it more. But now that she thinks of it, Miss Cranky could clean up the writing world and its homophone misusers with a few well-placed jolts of ZAPPILY.
When Miss CP trotted out her list of stuff someone should invent for writers, she was sure the ZAPPILY would run away with all the attention. Turns out that loved-starved writers everywhere prefer the MY HOT LITTLE ROBOT over any instrument of torture. She’s wondering if the MHLR could be retrofitted to wield the ZAPPILY.
You’d get it all! The My Little Hot Robot is programmed to lie to you endlessly, whispering words of flattery. But with the ZAPPILY in hand, it could also actually improve your writing and weed out misappropriated homophones everywhere.
So you’d have two, two, two tools in one!
Eye, eye, Captain! Don’t sit in your writing studio balling. Get the mostest out of your righting, even if you’ve already left. Quick, order the ZAPPILY and we’ll throw in a My Little Hot Robot so you don’t get board. Just pay separate shipping and handling.
Order now!

About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *