Miss Crankypants has noticed that America is fast becoming the land of the humorless. Here we are on Election Day, and everybody she meets is either nervous as a cat about to get bathed or as cynical as presidential candidates playing musical chairs. Somebody is going to be upset.
And why not? Voting in our country is about as much fun as clipping one’s toenails. If you’re a student of past presidents, you already know that LBJ (Lyndon Baines Johnson for you youngsters) had a special valet to clip his toenails. And entertained visitors while literally sitting on the throne.
But back to Voting Day.
Miss CP suspects that most of us are like that poor little girl caught on video, sobbing that she didn’t want to hear about any more election stuff. Especially Bronco Bama. We are so sick of these awful robocalls, sign stealers and baby kissers that it’s no wonder we hold elections every four years. Any more often and we’d be tempted to flee to the Antarctic and commune with the penguins. Who, by the way, have some pretty gnarly toenails.
Miss Crankypants hopes you voted today–even though your piddling little ballot will have no effect on the Electoral College (unless you live in Ohio). After all the votes are counted (and contested and fought over), we can all go back to our regular pitiful lives. Don’t forget to feed your penguin and clip your toenails.