Ever taken one of those career aptitude tests? The last one that Miss CP took insisted that she was cut out to be a coroner. Which may come in handy if she ever decides to branch out into murder mysteries. But seriously, what ARE the qualifications to be a writer? Take the Writer Gene Test and see if you have a future!

1. You regularly wake up at three AM and start jotting down plot ideas.
2. No matter what the subject of conversation is, you immediately think, “I could write that!”
3. You eat way too much popcorn, pretzels or other finger food that, if spilled, won’t short circuit the keyboard.
4. Your caffeine to heart rate ratio is off the charts.
5. You are the world’s biggest eavesdropper, but you swear it’s for your dialogue.
6. You have several cats who own the computer, lounging, playing or sleeping on its nice warm surface.
7. As a child, you used to smash into walls because you just had to read while walking.
8. You know at least three hundred ways to describe dirt.
9. Your friends have started avoiding you because you insist on talking to your characters.
10. Your idea of a good time is to sit around for hours with other writers and discuss word choices and punctuation.
11. Your will contains instructions to mail your manuscript to every publisher in New York, on the off-chance they’ll publish it posthumously.
12. You love getting back at those who’ve wronged you by casting them in your book as characters with big noses and little piggy eyes.

Add up your score! If you answered yes to even one of the questions, warn your family: You may be a writer!