Miss Crankypants hates bugs. Ants. Sugar ants in particular. Wasps of all stripes. And fruit flies! At this very moment, legions of noxious insects are plotting a world takeover, starting with Miss CP’s own house! She figures that every creepy insect on earth has heard about her place: the counter tops just bursting with sugar, crumbs and a gazillion homegrown tomatoes, not to mention fresh caught steelhead smoking in the back yard for the yellow jackets. It’s Bacchanal for Bugs!
Miss Crankypants is spending more time killing bugs than writing. Something must be done.
After being chased into the house by marauding hornets, some of whom are rumored to be BALD-FACED, she’s ready for battle. When she’s finished with them, no self-respecting yellow jacket or paper wasp will dare to show his bald face around Miss Cranky’s house. This means war.
Under the kitchen sink, the sugar ants go on red alert. They think they’ve heard the war drums beating. It’s really Miss CP running around chasing fruit flies with a swatter. She has yet to swat one, but the sugar ants are right about one thing: Miss CP is angry. Very angry. They gather in the situation room, to discuss their strategy. The biggest terrorist they’ve ever seen is on the loose.
Miss CP gives up on the ants and wastes some perfectly good wine to attract the flies.
She makes it inside just before the hornets, who are now bald-faced and in a bad mood. She slams the door just in time. Tonight after dark she’ll try the old hot dog on a string trick, and hang a Ball Park frank over a pail of water. The wasps will probably think they’ve just found the greatest resort, with room service and a swimming pool.
Meanwhile, the fruit flies are getting drunk. If some fall into the wine and drown, hey all’s fair in love and war, right? The world takeover by insect has just been dealt a blow, although the yellow jackets are pounding on the door. Miss Cranky wins!