Everyone who has ever written anything knows that good stories require lots of heart-felt emotion. Miss Crankypants understands this, because she frequently comforts writers who are standing on a ledge after the 720th rejection. Don’t jump, she implores. Get yourself a dartboard.
The great thing about dartboards is that they create instant gratification. You imagine the bull’s eye as someone you love to hate–say that rejection-happy editor, your best friend who now has a movie deal or (for the other side of the desk) that brat writer who never turns in their manuscript on time.
Miss CP would not officially advise any writer to hurl darts at a photo of the offender, although she is told that the gratification skyrockets if this method is employed.
A dartboard never complains, never accidentally hits “reply all.” A dartboard doesn’t gossip behind your back or lie to your face. It just hangs with you through thick and thin. And every time you’re itching to throttle someone in the writing biz, it sacrifices itself on the altar of your indignancy.
Miss Crankypants is not as violent as you might think. She prays for the person just before she nails him/her right in the jugular. After all, writing is a blood sport.