Branding, Schmanding

Miss Crankypants is officially against author branding. I know, you’re supposed to have a catchy slogan, a tag line that separates you from the madding crowd. Bologna! Some of these tag lines make my head want to explode. To wit: A very good friend and super writer recently started a blog. You know, because you’re supposed to have a blog even if you loathe blogs. Now said Writer has a blog, a cute little tag line and away we go. When I saw Writer’s unique identifying brand, let’s just say I wasn’t as moved as, say, “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.”
There will never be anything to top, “Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.”
Really, writers, some of these things are plain silly. How many ways can you tell your readers that you write exciting, pageturning, heart-melting Christian Fiction? Or spinetingling, eerie but wholesome murder mysteries? All the good ones are taken.
If you think I’m ranting about this just because I can’t think of a decent tag line for my own stuff, well you’re right. For years now, I’ve been wracking my poor brain. So far, the best I can do is “Good Fiction. Take a Chance.” Or how about taking a cue from the guys on the corner? “Starving Writer. Anything Helps, God Bless.”
One of these days I’m going to hit on the magic formula. My brand will takeover the world, and like lol cats, “I can haz cheezburger.” Until then, maybe I’ll be like the Jewish mother changing a light bulb. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just sit here in the dark and hum, “That is what I’d truly love to be.”

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