Dream Team: Cranky Cat and Weird Al

Today, all over this great land of ours, people are huddled around their phones and tablets, watching a blast from the past land right in the 21st century. Miss Crankypants is referring to Weird Al Yankovic of course. He’s back, parodying Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” and other pop songs.

Cranky Cat is scheming to steal some of Al’s thunder, if not his psychedelic trousers.

It all started with tackiness. Cranky Cat has the WORST taste in just about everything. He’s so color blind, he’s pinned up cheap reproductions of original velvet Elvis paintings. If good taste were a flower, Cranky would get stuck with STINKWEED. His taste is definitely all in his mouth, and it smells just like TUNA! That’s how deliciously TACKY Cranky Cat is.

So when Weird Al releases a bunch of new parodies, Cranky Cat gets excited. “We’ll make a killing, Mr. Weird and I,” Cranky exclaims. “I am the King of Tacky!” He’s wearing plaid pants. “We’ll do a ‘CAT CRIMES’ parody!”

Miss CP isn’t so sure. “I doubt he’ll need any help from you, CC. After all, his new album is currently Number One.”

Cranky Cat smiles. “Ooh ye of little anchovies. When Mr. Weird finds out about my velvet Elvis collection, he’ll want in on the action.”

“It’s Mr. Yankovic, silly.And what makes you think he’ll give a flying fig about your awful art collection?”

Cranky Cat takes a stance, crossing his arms like a rap star. “Yo. Because, Stoopid Hooman, he’s going to want to make his next video about yours truly here.”

“And why is that?”

“Have you never seen me breakdance?”

“Well there was that time when you fell into the pool trying to get away from the cat who was whupping you.”

CC looks horrified. “Pfft! We do not speak of that day, Hooman.”

“You don’t think it was funny the way you went completely underwater?” Miss Cranky laughs. “I never saw a cat move quite so fast.”

“Just sayin. . .”

“Look. This Al dude is going to make me famous. The Hairball Remedy folks will make me their spokescat. I can see it now.”

“So can I. You threw up on the carpet again.”

“Never mind. Can you get Mr. Weird on the horn for me? And we need to get some video of me breakdancing in my art room. Elvis smiles every time I bust a move.”

“Or bust another lamp.”

“Obviously you don’t know a great artist when you see one. Cranky Cat and Mr. Weird are going to be the best dream team since Michael Jordan and Garfield.”

“Because I’m TACKY, see.”

Miss Crankypants won’t argue with that. 

About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

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