|Get off my turf!|
Oooh. Now it’s on. Some wiseguy has figured out that using Amazon drones would start World War Bird. Eagles, hawks and other birds of prey, it turns out, are VERY territorial. They rule the skies, with the possible exception of a few unfortunate cousins who get sucked into jet engines. So if Amazon deploys a thousand drones to deliver stuff, the birds are going to rebel.
This possibility has Cranky Cat and Melchior the Very Large jiggling in fear. What if, they mewl, as they’re floating by, a big bad bald eagle decides to pop all their balloons? Melchior in particular would plummet to earth faster than Icharus flying too close to the sun.
Miss Crankypants does NOT want to be standing underneath him when he hits.
Therefore, Cranky Cat and Melchior the Very Large have both decided to hibernate for the foreseeable future. Once again, le chat petit, Mamma Mia! must take up the slack.
Mamma is the consummate birder. She is so stealthy, she can drag in a poor winged critter faster than Miss CP can say, “Bad Kitty!” Mind you, these poor victims aren’t really dead. Stunned is more like it. And Mamma has a blast letting these crazed-with-fear chicks go and then chasing them again. The last incident, she brought in a poor sparrow, opened her kitty jaws and the bird flew behind the entertainment center. Miss Cranky spent the next two hours trying to chase the bird outside again. Big. Time. Fail. She finally resorted to allowing Mamma Mia! to recapture her prize so that Miss CP could pry it from her jaws. OK bird lovers: the sparrow lived so you don’t need to report her to the Audubon Society.
But if Amazon goes ahead with these drones, watch out. The skies will be full of kamikaze birds of prey, eager to keep a drone from mating with its partner.
For now, Miss Crankypants’ idea to let cats do the delivering is on hold. She’s heard that eagles like the occasional cat snack in addition to their steady diet of robot drone innards. Sorry, Mamma Mia! We’ll have to keep you inside for a while.