Send Cats to Congress

Melchior for Congress!

Miss Crankypants is always on the alert, ready to dispense comeuppance to any ninny who does stupid stuff. Nowhere is this more evident than in our fair government headquarters, where the congressional pages are down in the basement printing off “NO ADMITTANCE” signs for the national parks. Is this really a good use of our tax dollars? If they were going to shutdown a part of the federal government, wouldn’t you think they’d have picked some office EVERYBODY HATES? Like how about the IRS?
Meanwhile, the trio of criminal cats at Miss CP’s domecile have the perfect solution to the present state of constipation in our hallowed halls of government. Crankycat, Melchior the Large and Mamma Mia! are going to storm Washington (OK they plan to enter silently, on little cat paws) and take over the Three Branches of Government You’re Supposed to Be Able to Name, but Can’t.
Stealth of this caliber cannot be accomplished by just any old kitteh. No, the trio from the Great Northwest will invade DC and make that alien invasion Independence Day movie look like a high school US Government class on Friday afternoon. ZZZZZZZ.
Too bad this elite fraternity of furballs can’t agree on anything. Melchior is throwing his weight around, complaining that he doesn’t want to be the Representational Branch of the US government. He moans, “I’ll look silly (and orange) with a spray tan like that Boehner dude!”
Mamma Mia! says, “Well I’m the Chief Justice and that’s that! Besides, Melchior, you’re perfect for Congress. You haven’t moved a muscle in three weeks!”

Chief Justice Mamma Mia!

All this time, CrankyCat has been tailless and quiet–an amazing feat, considering his Siamese background. Finally, the world’s answer to democracy and Grumpy Cat speaks. “Say what you want,” Cranky intones. “I’m definitely the Executive type: My father deserted me at birth, I speak eloquently and I’m always the smartest guy in the room. And I have big ears.”
If the shutdown lasts much longer, beware: these cats are serious. As Cranky Cat wryly observes, “We’re kitties. We lay around and do nothing for 23 hours a day.” Miss Crankypants agrees. The Three Muskecats are perfect for the job.