Miss Crankypants is at a writer’s conference, soaking up sun and listening to about a hundred workshops that tell you the secret of success. Every one of these workshops insists that writers need a platform, which is of course, old news. At least it is to Miss CP.
In fact, Miss Crankypants wonders why authors haven’t taken a platform-building cue from TV. On TV, we are treated to commercials about a lot of useless gadgets you cannot live without. From the Slap-chop to the Sham-wow, guys and gals hawk worthless plastic junk from China. We’ve all seen the plastic bowl with handles that magically measure the perfect amount of spaghetti, the can of spray-on rubber so you can make a boat out of a screen door, a automatic hard-boiled egg slicer and a dog hair remover that looks like it’s made from pieces of old inner tubes.
What’s this got to do with writers?
Aside from the fact that writers are just as vulnerable to TV ad men as the rest of TVland, we could use some of their techniques to sell more books.
The pitch could go like this: Is your sofa sagging? Your table legs wobbling? You need a book! A BookWow! helps you get off your duff when you’ve been trapped on a squishy low sofa. BookWow! Never eat at a wobbly, coffee spilling table again. BookWow! makes it so easy for only $19.95!
BUT WAIT!
We’ll double the offer (just pay separate shipping and handling). You get two! Two!
You get it all!