Cranky Cat the Tail-less

Miss Crankypants has had more cats than just about any feline aficionado. She’s had black cats, white cats, calico cats and tabbies of all stripes. Big cats and fat cats and, uh, more fat cats. Presently she’s down to three adorable kittehs, and one of them is going to famous very very soon.
The world-renowned GRUMPY CAT, who recently signed a big fat BOOK DEAL, is in for a big surprise: Cranky Cat is the NEXT BIG THING.
While Grumpy Cat (aka Tarder Sauce)  wears a permanent frown, CRANKY CAT (aka Paladine) comes by his crankiness honestly. Is it HIS fault that he was born with no tail? You’d think he’d join the Manx Society, but they won’t have him! Why?
For starters, he’s at least half Siamese, judging from his perennial foul mood. Talk about your bitey cat! Cranky will sink his fangs into you for merely existing. And don’t try withholding his treats. That’s when the REAL CRANKINESS sets in.
As all Siamese cat owners know, this breed has THE most annoying meow on earth. It’s more of a yowl than a mew. In fact, the last time Cranky Cat went on a marathon meow session, the neighbors thought either it was an air raid siren or our car alarm was going off.
And Cranky isn’t only a pro at making you want to hide in the backyard bomb shelter. He’s sneaky. WAY sneakier than Grumpy Cat. Cranky Cat tiptoes up to your ear at 3 AM and demands that you get up right this instant. If that doesn’t work he stages a sit-in, which is really just Cranky Cat perching on your face. He’s willing to wait until either you give in and get up or else you suffocate. Doesn’t matter which.
And don’t get Cranky Cat started on foolish humans. CC and his minions regularly fan out across the globe to bite anyone dumb enough to eat tuna for lunch and not save some for the kitty. Miss Cranky herself has been wounded by a cranky cat with a tuna habit. These felines are serious!

Grumpy Cat: You’ve been warned!

So Grumpy Cat, you’ve been warned: Cranky Cat vows to give you a run for your money! Besides, he’s not just another pretty face. He’s a TAIL-LESS pretty face. And he hopes that’s enough to get himself a big fat book deal.

Cranky Cat