Cranky Cat has noticed humans having a ridiculous amount of fun every Thursday. They post grainy photos of themselves–taken, oh umpteen years ago and call it Throwback Thursday (TBT). Cranky thinks cats everywhere should get in on the party.

Facebook had better do some serious beefing up, though. When cats start posting their TBTs, the servers will crash–after all every single cat on the planet has nine lives. That’s a lot of throwback!

Cranky also wants to know which stupid human invented this minor holiday. You just know that all these folks are coming to work with dog-eared old high school pix stuffed inside their bags. They wait until the boss isn’t looking and then scan and post these dweeble photos before the doughnut cart rolls past the cubicle. Most of the pix are lame, seriously lame, mostly on account of the dumb dogs they pose with. Occasionally this is due to the essential lameness of the loser with the Brownie camera or the old Polaroid. 

But that was then. Never fear, Cranky Cat is going to revolutionize TBT!

When TBT is controlled by pretty kitties everywhere, the whole idea will no doubt become more feline-oriented. For starters, the “TBT” will have to be “TUT.” See, for a kitteh, throw BACK leads directly to Throw UP (a hairball). Cats like Cranky will work hard to make sure they position their contributions directly in the path of humans, who will of course step right in it and yell, “EEEWWW!!!”

Knowing he has just caused the human to be late for work (again), Cranky Cat will get closer to smiling than he ever has in his little pea-pickin’ life. He will, of course, believe he has performed a public service when Human is forced to use half a roll of paper towels and change her shoes before Human can depart for the cubicle. 

And Cranky Cat can’t believe how ungrateful that Human can be: Here he’s tried to save her from another long day of tedium, scrolling through countless inane snapshots of  Facebook TBTers who think they were so smokin’ hot back in the day. And does she even say thank you? No! She locks Cranky in the laundry room in case he has any other ideas on home decorating. The nerve.

But CC is determined. Cranky Cat pledges to get every kitteh doing TUT not TBT. Until then, watch your step.