Miss Crankypants has been away all week at a very cool writer’s conference in the California redwoods, practicing acceptance of the fact that when compared to zillion-foot-tall trees, she is very short. But while she was gone, the Mutiny started without her!
Ever since Miss Cranky started generating yuks on this blog, poking fun at her wonderful trio of felines has been fair game. Imagine her shock (SHOCK!) to return home and find out that these kittehs have been plotting to overthrow her and that Cranky Cat led the coup d-cat himself! Cranky wants to go into politics! And all because he has no tail.
Such an ungrateful Kitty.
Who doles out cat treats to him morning, noon and night? Who spends arms, legs and every cent in the piggy bank to make sure he has the best chow, finest catnip and cleaner teeth than a dental hygienist? Why Miss Crankypants of course.
Melchior the Very Large and Mamma Mia! are CC’s campaign managers, but Cranky will bite them too whenever he’s in an extra crabby mood. That is to say practically ALL THE TIME.
Apparently, Cranky Cat dreamed up this harebrained scheme all by his little Siamese/Manx self. After Miss CP suggested sending him to Washington to bite uncooperative Congressmen, he insisted on going BIG. As in not only biting them, but also throwing the bums all out of office in the midterm elections.
Cranky Cat’s going to fix all that’s wrong with this country by RUNNING FOR CONGRESS! Not bad for a creature who hops like a bunny and doesn’t have opposable thumbs.
Miss Crank gets a headache just thinking about the TV spots Cranky Cat will run:
(Cue soundtrack from CATS!) “Oh, hai. Are you furious because of Obamacare? Do you long for the freedom to knock breakables off any surface? Do you believe you have the right to hack up a hairball any time you feel like it?
Of course you do! A vote for Cranky Cat is a vote for action, folks. I got CRANKYTUDE!
I promise to bite anyone who dares to mess with your right to be dead wrong. And I promise to abolish Obamacare and replace it with CRANKYCARE! Cranky Cat for Congress!”
Sigh. See what happens when you turn your back on a crazy cat?