The Facebook Walk of Shame

The other day, Miss Crankypants got her hand slapped by the Facebook police. Now this wasn’t the first time. Miss CP has a nose for trouble, it seems.
The latest incident involved spelling. When one of these crazy friends of hers posted that their dear loved one with heart problems received five STINTS over the weekend, Miss CP just snapped.
STINTS? Miss Cranky couldn’t help herself. She commented, “A stint is a length of time.” Surely the writer meant STENTS.
Now Miss Cranky is as sympathetic as the next crazy Facebook user. She doesn’t want to see anybody doing five stints of anything: push-ups, Army enlistments, or Horrors! Five days on the Facebook blacklist.
She’s even more sympathetic about stents. Really. It’s blatant misuse of words that sets her off.
Post an announcement that you hope to loose ten pounds and Miss Crankypants might let it pass. After all, loosing those darn ten pounds is hard. But don’t tell her that you didn’t loose your chess match. LOSE! Where do you think the term LOSER comes from?
Not that Miss CP thinks anyone is a loser. That’s what got her reported as spam in the first place. Miss Crankypants is not SPAM! Maybe a nice Honeybaked ham, but spam? No way!
For this offense of promoting good hygiene and spelling, Miss Cranky got an ominous-looking text box saying that “someone” had reported her for spam. Someone? Someone who likes stints, she bets. She was further informed that she should cease and desist, or risk appearing on the Facebook Walk of Shame. 
Attention! Miss Crankypants will no longer be able to patrol the pages of Facebook in order to assure proper spelling. She’s not stupid–if she ends up on the Walk of Shame, her family will take away her internet privileges.
So all you stinters and loosers, you’re on your own! Happy Easter!

About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

7 comments on “The Facebook Walk of Shame

    • Tracy, I know right? So RUDE. They ding poor Miss CP while the stalkers, Nike shoe ads and the free Ipad (yeah sure) people clog our pages. Where’s the justice? Miss CP aka Linda

  1. Well! I never!! Who would have thought the Facebook Police (started to say Nazis, but I’ll be nice) would censor good spelling! SPAM? An unrecognizable ground meat product, gristle, and gelatin? You most certainly are not SPAM, Miss CP. I say we rally around you and face these losers. Should we organize a boycott of FB? Do you need me to break some legs? Oh, sorry. I’m getting carried away. I don’t know how to break legs. But I would if I could. I’m with you Miss CrankyPants.

    The cone of shame should be awarded to Facebook today. So there.

    • Be very careful–they’re always listening. Miss CP is going to set Bella the 4 pound teacup Chihuahua on the next miscreant who reports her. That’ll fix their ankles! ~Miss CP aka Linda

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