Shredding the Gnar, Cranky Style

Talk to the Tail.

If you’ve been able to stomach the Sochi Winter Olympics (really that yellow drinking water is too much!), you may have heard that the US snowboarders have walked off with all kinds of glory. The problem seems to be that nobody can understand a word these gnarly dudes and dudettes are saying! “Yeah,” snowboarder Sage Something-or-other crows after his win. “After the cannonbox . . .” Even the good TV reporters can’t figure out what he’s saying.
Cranky Cat, however, is more than willing to help translate!
Since CC is a regular on the “Bunny Slopes,” (his lack of tail helps him blend in), he knows a thing or three about snowboard lingo.
“See, all you gotta do is shred some gnar, shred some pow.” Cranky demonstrates with his own custom-built snowboard. “All it means is you hit the slopes. But watch out or you’ll end up with a yard sale.”
Miss Crankypants asks, “Yard sale?” Miss CP gets excited– she LOVES a good yard sale.
A yard sale means some of your gear falls off–your hat, or your gloves.” Cranky sniffs. “Not that I ever have any trouble.”
Miss Cranky sighs. “Oh.”
Cranky Cat strikes a pose. “So you wanna see me grab ten toes on a rocket air?”
“I’m afraid to guess.”
“How about a grail crab?”

“Don’t you mean a crail grab?” Miss CP looks up snowboarding slang. “Says here it means you grab your board with your back hand.”
“Do I look like I have hands?” Cranky Cat is irritated. “Pffft. If there’s no crab involved, I’m not interested.”
Miss CP continues. “And it says in order to get rocket air, you gotta leverage your vert.”
Cranky Cat wiggles his nose like the Cadbury Bunny. “Speaking of leverage, I got me a little snow bunny waiting in the lodge.”  The Tailless One walks away. “After that I’ll be shredding some gnar.”

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About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

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