Ode to the Last Ten Pounds

Miss Crankypants is in a rhymey kind of mood today. Enjoy!

Shake it !

Ode to the Last Ten Pounds

Way back in the last century,
I danced the light fandangery,
All to lose the last ten pounds
That make me far too pear-like: round.
I surveyed my posterior,
then donned my leotardery
to boogie aero-bic-a-lly
until I gasped and hit the ground.


I iz sleepy now.

Now in the 21st century,
no matter how I spotify
or groove to my iPod-ify,
the rear-view’s still too tushy for
my weight-loss goal set long before.
I’m still the biggest pear of all,
but dancing fool I’ll always be,
as the last ten pounds still follow me.

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About Linda S. Clare

I'm an author, speaker, writing coach and mentor. I teach both fiction and nonfiction writing at Lane Community College and in the doctoral program as expert writing advisor for George Fox University. I love helping writers improve their craft and I'm both an avid reader and writer of stories about those with wounded hearts.

4 comments on “Ode to the Last Ten Pounds

  1. OH my dear Mss CP! Did you ever hear about the man who cried because he didn’t have shoes only to meet a man who had no feet? I am that footless man. Not a mere 10 pounds dogs me–if only. As the years flew by, the pounds have come and will not go. You are SOOOO blessed to be lugging a mere 10 extra pounds around. You can always hide 10. (You are a lightweight! Literally!)

    I say, get on your knees girlfriend. And thank God today that you haven’t put on more! Then, eat a bag of Cheetos to celebrate.

    • How did you know that Miz Cranky LOVES Cheetos? Alas, they are so hard to deny–Cheeto dust the gift that keeps on giving. ~Miss CP aka Linda

  2. I meant to comment on your amazing poetic ability–but I got sidetracked on the weight issue– Superb! Not everyone can do poems. I especially LOVE the image of you grooving to your iPo-ify. Wonderful! And, if memory serves–which it doesn’t always–there was heretofore a mention of Cheetos.

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