Seems like just about every author Miss Crankypants knows has resorted to bribing their readers. What else would you call these come-ons that dangle a FREE KINDLE (FIRE!) in front of their audience? Every time Miss CP sees another one of these irritating ads, she’s horrified. Have we truly sunk so low?
Begs the question: How many Kindle (FIRE!) giveaways does it take to actually get a reader to buy your book?
Miss Cranky points out that if your book is a total dog, it might take all that and a dark chocolate candy bar. No nuts, please.
Meanwhile, we live in the good ol’ US of A, where oneupmanship still reigns. If Author A gives away another Kindle (FIRE!), then what does Author B have to do in order to steal Author A’s readers?
Miss CP is thinking first-born son. But if you knew her first born son, or even her second or third-born, you might suggest an alternate prize. It’s not that her sons are the Village Idiots. But they’ve all grown past the cute baby stage and now sport Viking red beards and a mean Irish leprechaun imitation.
Meanwhile, Author A is in a snit over this whole giveaway thing. She’s posting a Facebook ad boasting of a drawing for a free island somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. Which beats a Kindle (FIRE!) any day of the week.
Miss Crankypants, on a tighter budget than a plus-size girl in skinny jeans, cannot keep up with this nonsense. But she has an idea. This week, she’s appealing to every child in the USA to send her candy from their Halloween loot bag. If you send in fifty fun size three musketeers, you’ll win her book. Sorry, readers, Miss CP can’t pony up for the Kindle this time around. But, if you throw in some Red Hots, she might be able to scrounge up some FIRE!
Happy Halloween to all and dear East Coasters, please do not mail your hurricane to Oregon. Just kidding. Praying for your safety and a truckload of Three Musketeers.