Christmas Indecisions

It’s Christmas Eve. I know, I don’t update this blog as often as I ought to. But today, I have been trying really hard to be of good cheer, catch some Christmas spirit, or as my mother reminded me, think of it as Baby Jesus’ Birthday. “It’s not about you,” she scolded. “So buck up.” This is my family motto, to smile and think positive. So I am, thinking that is.
So many Americans are experiencing a TAC (Totally Awful Christmas)–I know I am in good company. Yet, the unemployment numbers, bail-outs of corporations and the dearth of holiday gift-buying sort of shoves us in the direction of TTM (Things That Matter.) My husband of 31 years, age 63 next month, can’t find a job. We are falling behind financially, although God and my writing students have provided awesome unforeseen opportunities. My sons are still addicts and I still have “some serious medical problems,” as my doctor said this week, but no health insurance. Like many, I could add to this dismal list a host of other pressing needs. Honestly, I feel dreadful and darned near hopeless about now.
So do I help thousands of other depressive types identify with the crushing troubles that are magnified by ho-ho-ho? Or shall I laugh and dance and celebrate?
It’s a hard decision.
If you are like me, melancholy by nature and slammed by a not-so-jolly reality, then maybe we could give each other a hug and then turn our faces to the Light that makes its way toward us. We could sit around and tell stories of how, in times past, God has ridden in with the Calvary–oops, I meant cavalry–and saved us time after time.
I don’t know how dark this year is going to get. There may be bigger calamities ahead. But this time, I’m going with my family motto: think positive. The way I see it, the Light of the world is our biggest hope and only sure salvation. I’ll take my TAC, introduce it to TTM and see what kind of miracle God can fashion.
Here’s thanks and appreciation to all my wonderful writing students and associates, love to my friends and family. Please join me in lighting a candle to symbolize our God’s gift to all. Merry and blessed Christmas and a wonderful and prosperous New Year.

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3 comments on “Christmas Indecisions

  1. I just read your and Kristen’s book “Making Peace with a Dangerous God.” I’m an Anglo male, in my 40s, but could relate to many of your struggles regarding your faith in Christ, codependency issues, dysfunctional family issues. I hope your husband finds a job. I hope you continue to write. You are a wonderful writer, and I appreciate your vulnerability.


  2. Wow, Chris,
    Thank you for your honesty. In times like these, we at the crazy end of the spectrum tend to look at all the confused and desperate people around us and feel normal for a change. May God bless you.

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